Gray Area Drinking, and how our physical body helps us to abstain from alcohol
As a Gray Area Drinker, (a regular drinker who continued to function highly but drank to excess and to degrees of harm), I struggled with envisioning life without the band aid of alcohol. It was a long-time supporting actor in many, if not all, of my features. But Hey- as long as I continued to work, parent, volunteer and show up, I didn’t have a problem, as far as I figured! But my “showing up” wasn’t really all it that great. In fact, it was downright dismal.
If I drank 1- 4 glasses of wine every night, but still woke up and got to work, albeit powered by copious amounts of caffeine, that’s acceptable – right? But it wasn’t that simple for me. Most nights led to a bottle of wine, or more. I was hanging on, but barely. I wasn’t happy with how I was feeling, or treating my kids, or my husband. I ate poorly. I was way heavier than I wanted to be. I wanted to be alone, a lot. And I felt shame. I needed to determine what I could do to find relief instead, that was for certain.
Regular alcohol use is so woven into the fabric of society that the degrees of problem drinking are increasingly vast, and we now have a huge population of people, women especially, who are unable to clearly define that great, big, gray area of their relationship with alcohol. They may drink daily or binge, and yet continue to show up as active, seemingly healthy and coping members of society.
I decided that after many failed bouts at moderation, (“I will just have one” – NAH. “I will just drink wine” – NOPE. “I will just drink Friday and Saturday night” – Nuh- Uh!) it was best for me to stop drinking altogether but didn’t know how. I didn’t feel like I really needed to go to a treatment center, and also didn’t dare leave my family for an extended period. I was repelled by the most well-known alcohol self-help group there is, Alcoholics Anonymous. To see anyone who participates in a harmful behavior repeatedly despite its dangerous effects, and blame that on uncontrolled character defects seemed anemic and ignorant. We are human beings, after all. I needed more to work with my imperfect character!
Flawed human traits aside, AA did offer me the opportunity to state clearly in front of a group of other people that I had a problem with alcohol and needed to address it. That turned out to be a surprisingly huge relief to me.
There- I said it. I couldn’t take it back.
I was face to face with this painful truth, and I now needed to do something about it.
But what??
Aristotle said it so succinctly, The Whole is Greater Than the Sum of its Parts. There was a lot at work here, that lead me to drink like I did. Anxiety, depression, overwhelm. I believe that with all of our many intricate layers, our ailments are just as complexly designed and harbored. To remove alcohol from my life was but one part. What else can I do to support that abstinence, so that I don’t deprive, I do more than just survive, … dare I say THRIVE??
It turns out that we can physically support ourselves to feel less depression, anxiety and cravings for alcohol and food.
We can actually harness the power of the physiology of our bodies to reduce cravings for alcohol and feel balanced.
We don’t function in a vacuum; our bodies have intricate, natural feedback circuits that communicate constantly, fine-tuning and adjusting our state at all times. It’s essential that we coordinate with our bodies and provide the support our bodies need versus actively working against your resolved intention to stop drinking.
My own path of sobriety has been a thriving journey and exploration into the practices of yoga, meditation, mindfulness, dance, nature, exercise, functional medicine, nutrition, spiritual seeking of my own design, and community. I have researched biochemical rationales for the benefits of these lifestyle modifications and practices, as well as experimented and noted my own experiences and benefits. What I have learned is that when I reflect on and heed my unique needs regularly, create and maintain the right habits and routines, it serves me very well! This has resulted in nearly five years of long-term sobriety.
My choice to stop drinking when I did came at the exact right moment, and I am supremely grateful for that resolve, and the teachers, mentors and synchronous relationships and circumstances that have lead me to write these words today, sharing my message with you.
When I came upon the work of Jolene Park, who further guided and mentored me through her Gray Area Drinking coach certification, it cemented my suspicions that what I had been doing was indeed the way to support myself, and others like me in their search for fulfilling ways to live more satisfying lives by choosing to go alcohol free.
Still with me? If you’ve read this far, something is resonating with you. My job as a coach is not to tell you it’s time, but to hold the space for your growth and development and encourage you in your highest form to reach your personal goals and aspirations for your best lived life.
If it is indeed time for you to step into your new chapter, and want someone who’s walked the path before, and waiting to show you how to make it yours, I invite you to stop and listen, heed that call, and let me know.
Sending you much love on this gorgeous Spring day.
‘Til next time! Joy