A Troubling Development
How was your holiday weekend? I hope that you enjoyed a safe holiday spending time with those that you love. Independence Day is a special holiday for me as it marks the anniversary of meeting my would-be husband 19 years ago, and also causes reflection on my past quintessential party-girl behavior, and then my subsequent successful departure from living the lush life (a.k.a. my first profession as Premier Connoisseur of All Things Alcoholic).
To be free of my alcohol dependence is EVERYTHING, because it has lead to everything... my preserved health, my amazing family, and my continued bond and relationship with that strong man of mine.
As I watched the incredible fireworks exploding over my neighborhood this past weekend, I smiled and whooped with joy in ways that I hadn't in a very long time. There has been so much weighing heavily over these few months during the pandemic; the concerns around the circulating virus, the stresses of sheltering in place, the devastating racial tensions, protests, and riots.
It has been such an incredibly trying time for so many.
I have struggled with how to process and work through what has been looming below the surface leaving me all combinations of agitated, furious, devastated, and ultimately powerless, but then it came upon me as I reflected on the Women for Sobriety Acceptance Statements.
Within the physical separations and opposing arguments, there are the divisive judgements surrounding the actions that are not our own, but of others. When it comes to public health and interpersonal relations between any other person, or population, we of course want to trust that others have compassion and want to treat each other as we want to be treated ourselves. (The good old Golden Rule, remember that?) And yet, I see SO MUCH energy being poured into focusing on what others do, instead of focusing on our own actions.
In just a few days I will celebrate my sober anniversary, and I can't believe it's been another trip around the Sun sober. I am so grateful that I recognized my skin in the game, my responsibility in my experience and my own life.
Acceptance Statement #13 from WFS's New Life Program states:
"I Am Responsible for Myself and My Actions.
I Am In Charge Of My Mind, My Thoughts, and My Life."
I am reminded yet again just how disappointing, harmful, and frustrating shifting the focus off of my own actions onto those of others, and therefore expecting my experience to be one of my choosing, really is. I daresay that our current societal state of affairs has led to a development of a mentality whereas this is is an acceptable option for us. But this seems the antithesis of freedom, this is the antithesis of independence!
This is powerless in its purest form, because we are the only ones responsible for it. Should we stop trying to make the world a better place for humanity? Absolutely not.
But we must take ownership over our own actions, thoughts and emotions first and foremost.
Only then will we truly be free.