Mother’s Day

I spent a lot of heartbreaking time this morning placating my four-year-old because I would not be in attendance at his preschool for a Mother’s Day tea. I had just learned of this event with short notice, but unfortunately had volunteered to set up for a different event at my other son’s school during that same time. I was trying to explain to my son that I was so glad that I had come in the week before for a special event which involved sharing some craft time and a snack and a book, but he wasn’t having it. He just didn’t understand why I wasn’t coming in today.

Before that I was talking with my husband about how I would like to go and do something special for myself this weekend, take a class of some sort: yoga or dance, but he had something he wanted to do Saturday morning, both the boys have baseball games, and then on Sunday we are hosting a Mother’s Day brunch. Of course, classes don’t run all day throughout the weekend, so the challenge lies in finding the right offering during the time allotted.

Sigh.

Mother’s Day.

A weekend or a day that is supposedly devoted to the never ending work and love that comes from a mother has brought on more stress and more frustration than even a typical day in the life of a mother. All the while brewing its own special blend of guilt or shame that I’m not doing enough, or I’m not worthy of taking time on my own.

W.T.fresh.hell…Is that all about?! 

And then I wonder just why is it only on a certain day that we need to try to put on some type of Utopia or spa-day mentality? Why do we have to wait for this Hallmark holiday to feel pressured to put that superduper self-care into place? …when in reality life just doesn’t stop.  For any parent. 

In a moment, I realize that life is so fast, that I must purposefully step up, and create my own space multiple times a day even if it doesn’t get me to a 90 minute class, or a 60 minute class, or even out of the house. Those classes are important and I’m working on that, I’m working on the flow of it all. 

But this is just forcing me to be even more creative in the ways that I find respite and quiet, and making damn sure I advocate for myself whenever I need to. That seems to be the important part that I miss. Standing up and saying stop! I need a break, dammit.

And then following through with it. Not letting any hesitation or guilt diminish my need, but finding the time whenever I need to take a break, breathe, and begin again.

Actually planning ahead of time and planning for a class here , a workshop there, a weekend away, a meditation, or walk, or a quick tea with a friend.  

Life moves too fast to wait for “Mother’s Day”. 

So how about it, Mama?  How might you plan for your special time, at any time?